NO WIRE HANGERS EVER!!!!!

I know I haven't posted any thing in a while. And I'm going away for a week. So to make up for lost time, I'm gonna make one really long post!!!!![I was gonna make 4, but I'm too lazy].



First to tell you why I haven't post in a while.... I was saving the Universe. See, Earth had been captures by a Amazonian-like species of alien, who captured all of the human race and turned the men into booty slaves, and sometimes even used them for evil scientific experiments. I, and my trusty assistant a name, saved the Universe with our wits and courage. You don't remember, because the Will Smith came in and mind wiped all y'all.


Ok I lied. But the truth is much more scary. If I told you, you'd fudge you're pants.
That whole thing I said is actually the basis of a text-based game. I forgot the name... I'll post it when I remember.




RANDOM CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!:
http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.htm
I found this page. It is so beautiful... *eyes well up* video games....


If the address above doesn't work, just use "http://project-apollo.net" and all the way at the bottom of the page look for "Grand list of RPG Cliches"
That list is 95-98% true for me.Number 102 140, and 189 are my favorites.The gender equality ones work even in Final Fantasy X-2 [or so I've heard, I haven't gotten that far]. What the crap? The three main characters are girls... the majority of the people in the game are female...
The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey
1. Better graphics do not equal innovation and/or creativity.


2. Thou shalt make sure your game actually works.


3. Thou shalt admit when enough is enough.


4. Thou shalt make killing fun.


5. Thou shalt not force repetition on the player.


6. Thou shalt not pad the length of your games.


7. Thou shalt let us play your game with real-life friends.


Link gives reasons and examples: http://www.cracked.com/article_16196_7-commandments-all-video-games-should-obey.html



Never: Put you hand in a "Talk to the hand" position in greece


Thumbs up in the middle east

Finish Your whole Meal In Thailand / The Philippines? / China


Say "Hi" to a Member of the Opposite Sex in Saudi Arabia


Give an Even Number of Flowers in Russia or Romania: Its an serious, offensive omen of death. You shouldn't give a clock or wrap a present in white paper in China either. Don't give anyone in Bangladesh white flowers. White in all of those countries signifies death.



Give a Gift With Your Left Hand, Pretty Much Anywhere. Or eat with your left hand. Or anything with your left hand. In a lot of countries, like India, Africa, Sri Lanka and all of the Middle East see it as disgusting, because they use that hand to wipe themselves. Some countries even see the left hand as evil.


Never Give the "OK" Sign in Brazil [its like the middle finger there], or eat anything with your fingers.


Do the whole "Got your nose" thing in Japan


Put your glass upside down in Australian bars


Give shoes to people in China, especially if they are in the hospital

http://www.technovelgy.com/ct/Science-Fiction-News.asp?NewsNum=480NANO-CYBORGS!!^
Ok, since a certain person has been so anxious for me to put this post out, here it is. I went to Marine Land.
Because, evidently, everyone loves it. It was a present for my dad. We bought him the whole park. Shamu and all [you idiot, it's Shamu, not Shampoo!]. That was a quote from Snow Day, by the way. Best. Quote. Ever. But I'm pretty sure I got it wrong.


OK, jokes and snow aside, we had fun. And this is what we did:
First we saw the Seals. The were so awesome. I wish I could swim like a seal. But I wouldn't really use my fantastic aquatic ability all that much, since I don't swim a lot.There was a walrus too. It was blowing kisses.Then the dolphins came out. I don't like dolphins. There so annoying and arrogant. "Ooh, look at me, I'm a pretty dolphin, watch me do flips and squeek in decibels high enough to explode small rodents."No.


Then after having to watch those damn fish show off [yes, I am quite aware that dolphins are mammals, but I don't care] we went to see the orcas. I was in the slash free zone. Which was behind a rock.
One of the orcas was sneaking up on us. It was really funny. I liked the orcas. I FOUND THEIR EYES!!!!! They were under the corners of the white spots.


And then I pet a beluga. It was really cold, and they were really big. It kinda felt like rubbing a really thick, freezing cold balloon filled with gel. Not rubber like everyone said it would feel like. Liars.


After that we fed.... carp? I think think that's what they were... big fish, like two feet long, sometimes more, fat, and really dark. They would come up to the shore and you could throw in pellets of fish food.And there were SWARMS of them. Like, 30-40 on one side, and 25 on the other. Some were brave and let you drop the pellets right in there mouths. They would stick there mouths out of the water.I even touched one on it's head. So awesome. But, my hands smelled like dead fish for half of the day. And frozen lemonade and dead fish do not go well together.



In other news, we saw some boring normal animals too. We saw some bears mating. We saw some buffalo and elk. And some deer. And I ate almost half of a chicken. Yep. We went on some rides. That's it.


Random things about me: My favorite teenage mutant ninja turtle is Raphael

So is my favorite dead artist

I can cross one eye and leave the other completely still

I like cats better then dogs

I've seen all of the Star Wars movies except for the last one [yep even the prequels]

I love Doc Martens, machetes, and tic-tacs

I like to play text-based games

I used to watch He-Man and Power Rangers, but I don't like old cartoons usually [I can't stand anything on the Channel boomerang]


I'm ok with play games that have horrible graphics, monstrous controls, irritating camera angles, but if I came across a game with bad acting I don't think I'd be able to go on.



"So the biggest difficulty in the level is that you can't jump over a knee-high stone because THERE IS JUMPING IN THE GAME"
"DAMMIT I JUST WANT TO FIND A SAVE POINT SO I CAN GET TO BED"




[WARNING TO PEOPLE WHO WATCH HEROES! MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD! JUST SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH!!!!]
MOHINDER IS COMING BACK TO ME IN 40 DAYS!!!!!!! In case you didn't now, Mohinder is someone from Heroes, a TV show. The good news is is that he's getting powers, the bad news is, is that some skank is stealing him from me [the Devil's name is Maya].
And if anyone watches So You Think You Can Dance, my favorite of this season was Mark.



This season stunk [besides Mark, oh and I don't like Will by the way]. Most seasons of reality shows stunk this year. Does anyone watch Avatar? It's over.I didn't like the ending. [I miss Mohinder]



You know whats funny? After they started putting Parental Advisory labels on CDs, sales went WAY up. Yay irony. Who's the lady who started it?Oh yeah, Tipper Gore. I hate her. And Jack Thompson.



You people don't comment me enough. If I don't get at least 9 comments next time I check this page, I'm going to kidnap a cute little bunny and eat it. ALIVE.
But not whole though.



Just alive.



Warm and wriggling.



What else..... I decided I don't like Papa Roach.
Bands I don't like: Papa Roach


The Jonas Brothers


Black Tide



If you like any of these bands, you're wrong.
I stole that line. I thought you should know that.



How can you respect yourself????



I


SAW


The Dark Knight. SO awesome, just like I thought it would be. Now I'm pissed that Heath Ledger is dead, because when they make the sequel[which they will, if the producer/ director/ writer or whoever it is, isn't feeling pissy] They have to use another guy, or cut the Joker out completely.They were talking about maybe finishing up some stunts that they didn't do before Heath died, and I think they were thinking of use Johhny Depp or Nicolas Cage as a stand in. I think Johnny Depp could defiantly pull it off, but it just wouldn't bee the same. I think Cage would be OK. Just ok.




I realize that I'm worth more then that...



I went to the Renaissance Festival too. I dressed up and everything. I ate a turkey leg, bought a leather arm band,and met a guy who D.J. calls "Pablo". I also met a vulgar clown and had to share nasty ass [only her side was nasty ass] ice cream with my friend [I BOUGHT THE ICE CREAM AND SHE COMPLAINED ABOUT MY SIDE].
We saw "Ricardo" [the same guy as "Pablo"] 's show. It was pretty good but he almost set me on fire [silly "Carlos"].


I also saw a band of musicians who sung a surprisingly morbid song. "Sancho" [same guy as the other three names in quotation marks] wasn't there to see it. Afterwards we had dinner with "Pueblo" [same guy] and some of his friends [ONE OF WHICH LIKES INVADER ZIM, WHICH I WAS ECSTATIC WITH]. Then we said goodbye to "Gregorio" and did other crap.



Musical Stereotypes:

The best guitarist are black lefties or white men with silly hats [Examples" Jimi Hendrix, Tom Morello and Slash]


The best bassist are Australian [Examples: Flea]

The best drummers are in gigantic bands or only have one arm[Examples: That drummer with one arm]

The best songwriters are English [Examples: The Beetles, The Rolling Stones, yadda yadda yadda]


The best Singers are Canadian or American [Examples: Celi_n Dion, Sher, Christina Aguleria]



K, I'm done. Bye.



Let's put a smile on that face,


Alex